The One Where Sarah Tells Chuck A Secret
by ShinyAerox1991
Summary: Post season 5: Sarah has regained her memories, and with that, one of her deepest, darkest secrets. And she tells Chuck. Things spin out of control, but not necessarily for the worst.


**AN by ShinyJayne20:** So, we don't know where this came from other than it started with Aerox and thusly, whatever misgivings you may suffer due to the story is 100% his fault and not mine. Yes, that was a prime example of me throwing him under the bus. But if you liked this story (and reviewed) then this was obviously a team effort.

Aerox feels a little vile about posting this while I don't care either way. We laughed tons writing this together via chatroom and I hope that y'all find some humor in it as well. Also, Aerox says thank you for voting for him at this year's Awesome Awards. He wouldn't have won the title of "Best New Author" without everyone's support.

This is the beginning of his victory lap. Now everyone will get to read firsthand the consequences of voting for this madman.

**A/N (aerox): **Okay, ShinyJayne (or Nat as she will be thusly referred to) will probably murder me for posting this, but whatever. We wrote this entire piece through a chat I think a day after the Awesome Awards were announced (thus explaining her AN), each taking care of one paragraph. It's unbeta'd, it's insane, it's crazy, it makes NO sense at all. Still, I laughed when rereading it so I decided to throw it up on the Interwebs. If you hate it, that's unfortunate. If you like it, awesome. Join the club :D

**Disclaimer: **We don't own Chuck. We don't own Adorable Psycho which we may or may not have used. If **Wepdiggy**, the awesome creator of this franchise has any issues with this (because we kind of didn't ask permission :( ) we'll remove this story, no questions asked.

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><p><strong>The One Where Sarah Tells Chuck A Secret<strong>

"So this is it," announced Sarah as she flipped the switch causing for the entire factory to be bathed in harsh light. Chuck shielded his face with a hand, blinded by the sudden brightness. "This is where, well, I'm made. Sort of…"

Chuck dropped his hand and was dazzled yet again, not by the lustrous glow of the building this time, but what was inside of it. His mouth took the shape of a giant O before he began babbling nonsensically. "Oh wow…wow this place is huge! It totally reminds of the factory in _Attack of the Clones_ where Jango Fett was being cloned on the planet Kamino by the Republic." He paused and broke into a grin. "The army produced in his image eventually became the Storm Troopers we all know and love from episodes IV through VI."

"What's _Attack of the Clones_?" she asked, coming off a tad flummoxed. It sounded awfully familiar but she couldn't quite place where exactly she heard the name before. Apparently there were still a few memories that had yet to resurface; mostly the unimportant ones concerning the likes of film, comic books and music.

At least they were unimportant to her. She faintly recalled at one point where Chuck was listing off some famous lines from pop culture to Morgan and she had called it all gibberish. But that was exactly what it was, and would always be to her: Pure gibberish.

But she wouldn't dare tell Chuck that.

And so they continued to walk through the factory with their fingers laced together. After exhausting most of his pent-up nerdiness on his latest rant, Chuck had become unusually quiet. Sarah had a good idea as to why. God, she couldn't even begin to imagine how weird this was for him. She tried putting herself in his shoes, wondering what it'd be like if there were Chuck clones all over the place. A hungry look suddenly appeared on her face at the thought of thousands of Chuck's, just for her.

But alas, it wasn't a factory bustling with clones of her husband. No, it was solely of her. So it didn't help matters to find that the clones were completely naked. And if the dazed expression that had suddenly taken over by Chuck's face was anything to go by, he was beginning to realize this too.

Sarah couldn't (well, she could) believe it. He was actually drooling. His feet began to slowly come to a halt as if he'd been walking through mud. Brown eyes continued to devour everything inside the building with a permanent glazed over look befalling him when the sights became more and more overwhelming.

"Chuck," she called out for the third time, but his attention kept straying.

She had to admit, the clones did look damn good. If she was honest, they probably looked better than her, which said something as she also looked damn good. But so much perfection occupying the immediate area quickly stirred her old insecurities, causing them to flare up. Because as much as she tried to deny it, those buck teeth (her sole imperfection) were really ugly.

When she absently noticed that Chuck had begun to squirm a bit, Sarah dropped her gaze and noticed she was doing a mighty fine job of squashing his hand. She eased a bit on the pressure, but still kept a firm grip as they continued to mindlessly wander through the production factory.

Time went by before Chuck mustered the courage to speak. Clearing his throat, he asked. "So, uh would it be appropriate of me to ask what exactly the story is behind you being the "Patient Zero," he used finger quotes, "of this naturally CIA ran operation? Like, did you volunteer or did they force this on you?"

She squirmed. "It... um... well, you see... have you ever played _Mass Effect 2_?"

"Have I played _Mass Effect 2?_" Chuck exclaimed, snorting at the ridiculousness of the question. "Honey, I've had more playthroughs of that game than I had with you..." At his not-so subtle double entendre, Sarah's eyes narrowed and Chuck quickly amended, "and yep, I've heard of it. Great game...great game..."

She cleared her throat, the scowl losing some of its viciousness. "Just remember who you get your entertainment from now. And as much as you want to, it's physically impossible to get an Xbox pregnant. Anyway, as I was saying. My dad often was... strapped for cash, I suppose. And well, I'd come out pretty well. So when I was recruited by Graham, there may or may not have been a deal that was made between my father and the government to use my DNA as a cloning device so that they could create a legion of teenage girls that could be molded into assassins, seductresses and Intelligence officers..." She gulped in a huge breath of air and curiously waited for Chuck's reaction. It was after all, a rather large bombshell.

"So...let me get this straight," said Chuck. His face contorted into a pensive frown and Sarah's worries grew. With a hand stroking his chin thoughtfully, he resumed. "There's an entire army of Sarah's in this building, right at this second?"

"That's about the high and low of it, yes."

"I see."

"Does this... upset you?"

When he started to hesitantly shake his head, Sarah was certain it was due to his indecision.

"Honestly I am not upset. I'm sort of freaking out, but really what else is new right?" He chuckled. "I mean, I had a computer in my brain for the last four years that turned me into pretty much a superhero... Morgan's words not mine. So how could a cloning factory that uses my wife as the face of their army be any weirder?"

"Right, but... actually... they're better than me," she admitted as her gaze found something extremely interesting on the bleached floor. "For one, they don't have my stupid buck teeth."

Chuck gasped. "But your buck teeth are adorable! They are what sets you apart from every other gorgeous woman, and they essentially make you, you Sarah." While trying to reassure his wife, his eyes floated to a Sarah clone that stood closest on the conveyor belt. She was naked and smiling. Other than that being kind of freaky, Chuck could see all over her pearly whites. Yep, they were perfect just like the rest of her. All the same size and aligned straight. "Wow, the CIA must've consulted with the best orthodontist because her teeth are pristine…" he trailed off when Sarah's humiliation intensified, eyes downcast and face tinged scarlet. "Sorry, I'm being an ass."

"It's okay," she muttered. "I guess this was my own mistake." Tears pooled in the corners of her eyes. "You're going to leave me for one of them," she was more of a statement than a question as she absentmindedly waved at one of the Sarah's standing and looking forward while smiling, and being all perky and tight and ugh! At that moment, all she wanted to do was take one of her knives and cut off part of their front teeth. That may not exactly be plausible (she'd need something way sturdier to accomplish a feat like that) but she was Sarah Walker-Bartowski dammit! She accomplished the impossible every freaking day! Then maybe after turning those skanks' teeth into saw dust, she could take a stab at those boobs which were clearly fake. It was like looking at a goddamn Barbie doll on steroids! "I guess... I guess this is goodbye."

As Sarah turned on her heel and began to walk towards the exit, Chuck unfroze. He tore his attention from the plethora of Sarah's occupying the factory and chased the only one that mattered to him most.

"Sarah, wait!" He caught his wife by her wrist and spun her around till they were facing each other. To his surprise and dismay, Sarah was openly crying. Her cheeks were a rosy red and moist from freshly wept tears. Blue eyes had turned a bright and glossy shade of blue. Fuck he hated when she got upset, especially when it was his fault. "Honey, how can you possibly think that I'd ever leave you? You're not just my wife and spy partner, you're the love of my life. And nothing will change that. Not even a million other yours with their perfectly shaped teeth. None of them will ever come as close to real, human perfection like you."

"But that's the thing!" she screamed. "They're all me! They all shared my childhood, my memories of that. They're all equally broken and they can all be equally fixed by you! And they wouldn't have to have the shit that's been between us to weigh you down! No Bryce, Shaw or any of the crap that we put each other through."

She huffed once before sliding the ring that promised her eternal faith to the man she deeply loved off her ring finger and dropping it in his hand as he stood looking slack jawed at her. She had lost... to herself.

In fury, she ran to the conveyor belt and delivered a truly stunning haymaker to the Sarah that had caught his attention. She flew from the belt and crashed against the wall, before sliding down, knocked unconscious. A small trickle of blood appeared to drizzle from the crown of her head. Five Sarah's suddenly turned towards her, death in their eyes as they stepped off. The other thousand or so clones of her simply watched the event, like a bizarre version of_ the Matrix_. She only knew that because Chuck had made her watch it after he commented that Gertrude looked a hell of a lot like the mother of Trinity. The inevitable questions of course led to the movie night.

She cracked her neck from side-to-side, then the same with her knuckles. Taking a wide stance, she smirked. "Ready when you are bitch...es." No more was she going to back down. "Chuck!" she shouted. "Give me back my ring!"

But Chuck stood there with his jaw on the floor. His inner muse humming to the tune of "the Imperial March," as the many Sarah's stepped off the conveyor belt in perfect unison and proceeded to march forward towards his Sarah. Once they all began to take an offensive pose, the one that Chuck knew all too well from spending years fighting alongside his wife, did he snap out of his stupor. He quickly scrambled beside Sarah and dropped her wedding ring into her open palm.

"Um, would you like any help, sweetheart?" With a determined shake of her head, Chuck took the hint and quickly retreated backwards.

A cacophony of screams were heard as the Sarah's ran towards the real one, flailing their arms like banshees. Sarah simply shook her head and watched the first Sarah rushed her like an idiot. The women might have been gorgeous, they hadn't been trained. Their mental level wasn't much higher than a dog in heat. She dodged the punches and doled out a few of their own, mindful not to hit the awkward body parts. She dodged a hit by one of the clones, but caught a swift hook to the jaw from one of the bitches sneaking up on her.

Her face whipped around and she saw Chuck looking at her like this was the best day of his life. Five naked hers were fighting a clothed her... for him. Well,_ she_ was fighting for him. She figured the other hers were just PMS'ing or something.

Two spinning kicks caused two clones to join their former companion against the wall as there were three remaining. Two charged her, but she sidestepped and they ran against each other, knocking themselves out. That just left one of them. She ran up to her and with a primal war cry pounced on her, before unleashing a torrent of fists on the mouth of her clone.

"This is for your perfect teeth!" she screamed as she kept punching, until finally, Chuck pulled her off the broken body of herself.

Sarah continued flailing her arms and screaming unsavory things as Chuck dragged her a good distance away, then hefting her upright onto both feet. His arms remained wrapped around her waist as she thrashed, desperate to get back into the action. "Woah there," said Chuck like he was trying to tame a wild horse. Sarah tried bucking him off—a reoccurring act that was usually reserved for a more intimate setting—then threw a blind elbow that connected with Chuck's face. He howled, "what the fuck!" but miraculously did not let go of his crazed wife. With a busted lip, he tried soothing her. "Sarah, Sarah, calm down. It's over. You won. Down girl...just stop please!" He finally pleaded with a girly whine.

Finally, his voice broke through the red haze and she blinked back to reality. She saw the broken bodies of herself strewn around the room and couldn't help but feel a surge of pride go through her. She had successfully retained her husband from the evil clutches of herself. A moan cut through the warehouse though and she turned around to see Chuck cradling his jaw.

"Oh baby, I'm so sorry," Sarah cried as she fussed all over him; touching everywhere, trying to see if she had broken something of his.

In fact, Sarah was pretty sure she had. When Chuck parted his bloody lips she noticed that he had chipped a tooth. Well, that was ironic. With his face cradled in her hands, he smiled weakly and said. "It's ok, I've felt worse." Sarah nodded and returned his smile with a relieved grin, answering him with a kiss on his forehead.

They both got up and prepared to go back home. "This might not have been the best idea we've ever had."

"Agreed," said Chuck. He rubbed his sore jaw. "As much as finding out that cloning is a real thing, thus realizing one of my nerdy fantasies, I feel like this might be one of those times where I wipe my mind of this altogether. Although…" added Chuck, and Sarah really hated the sound of that. She somehow knew what he was about to say and braced herself. "I wouldn't be at all opposed to taking one of those Sarah's home, you know, as a souvenir."

Sarah rolled her eyes. "What are you planning on doing with it if I say yes?"

Chuck looked at her innocently. "Oh I don't know, I may have some idea what we could do..."

Sarah blinked. "I know that tone... the last time you had that tone, we ended up experimenting with whips and handcuffs. Not that I'm opposed to that, but still..."

He shrugged, still with that adorable disarming smile plastered to his face. Only Sarah knew it was a farce. She recognized the devious glint in his eye, further confirming her suspicions when he remarked airily. "If you know exactly what I'm about to suggest, would you be willingly to compromise if I allow a second round with full use of whips, handcuffs and other toys of that nature?"

Sarah's mouth went dry. "Oh, Mr Bartowski. Don't let anyone ever tell you you're not a star at dirty talk. But..." she said as a pensive frown came over her. "Which one would we take?"

Chuck smiled and slung an arm over her shoulder, bringing Sarah close. They looked at the conveyor belt where the remaining unscathed Sarah's stood in suspended animation. "Ladies choice," he informed her.

"I want that one," she said as she pointed at a random Sarah in the middle of the pack.

Chuck looked confused. "Why her?"

"She's got spunk," she replied, her voice full of conviction.

"Sarah, she looks exactly the same."

"She's got spunk, damn it!"

Not feeling it necessary to anger his already volatile wife, he didn't disagree. "Right yeah, she sure does look spunky."

She huffed in victory. "That's what I thought. You!" she shouted and the Sarah in question looked over, a bashful look on her face. "Get over here!" The Sarah clone meekly complied as she padded over. She came to rest in front of the married couple and Sarah noticed her clone giving her husband a once over. She snapped her fingers. "Eyes up front soldier."

The Sarah clone obeyed immediately. Chuck looked impressed but was also at a loss for words.

Sarah gave Chuck a wanton kiss, but before he could deepen it, she pulled back and nodded to her clone. "You try it now." The clone stepped up and eyed the man with a confused frown on her face.

"Please don't kill me," her clone whispered. "But your wife is really, really scary. And since she's me, I'm pretty sure that she can snap me in half if I make a wrong move so... just go with it?"

Chuck looked from the clone to his wife, and back to the clone again. He gulped, unsure of himself. "Yeah, it's better not to fight with her... on anything, especially since she's the mother of my child and she's also become a bit bipolar because of the whole pregnant thing."

Sarah shrugged. "Hormones baby, nothing you can do about it." She gave herself the once over and if she had to be honest with herself, the thought wasn't unappealing. The DNA taken had stemmed from her teenage years, where she was gawky and awkward, but even then, her first sexual encounter wasn't terrible. So she figured with the right set of training-which she and Chuck could definitely give her-it could become a fun experience for all involved. She lightly swatted the clone's behind. "Whatever, we'll have a test run when we get home. Let's go Chuck, momma's getting hungry and she's eating for two."

The Sarah clone looked up at Chuck with a puzzled frown. "Does she mean that literally, or...?"

"I have no clue," said Chuck. "Every day's a surprise with her." He looked at his wife and smiled timidly. "Love you honey."

"Love you too, baby. Now let's go. Oh, and uh, don't piss off the janitor when we see him. I don't think he took your joke about the penny being wedged in the doorway to be funny."

Chuck pouted. "Well, I thought it was hilarious!"

"I know baby, but some people just don't have a sense of humor and he seemed like one of those people who can't appreciate a good joke. Plus, I mean, he's working as a janitor in a cloning facility, surrounded by naked... well, versions of me. I can see how he wouldn't find a whole lot funny."

"I actually find this entire situation to be pretty funny," said Chuck. He acknowledged the clone with a nod. "In a really weird, twisted way, of course."

"But that's because there is now a carbon copy of your wife," the clone piped up.

"Thanks Sarah 2. She's actually right, you know. You have nothing to complain about."

"Is that what we're calling her now?" asked Chuck. "Isn't that a bit confusing, and slightly demeaning?"

"Well, what do you want to call her... We can't just..."

"My name is ASWPrototype X-2138.1991 v2.0"

"... I think we should stick with Sarah 2."

"That sure is a mouthful," quipped Chuck jokingly. This got him two stern looks from both Sarah's. "Sarah 2 it is then, or just 2? Like Android 18 from DragonBall Z."

"Is he always like this?" asked Sarah 2.

"He is," she confirmed, giving her husband a fond eye roll as they walked past the janitor, who held a penny up and shone it in Chuck's eyes. Sarah growled at the menacing man and he backed off. The cool breeze of the night hit her full on and she could see her clone shivering. She offered the younger version her trenchcoat in return without saying anything.

"A minivan?" Sarah 2 asked as they walked up to the Toyota.

"Since the wife is expecting, we decided to invest in a more family-orientated vehicle," explained Chuck. He placed a loving hand on Sarah's stomach. "There was no way I was going to endanger our little son or daughter to mommy's Lotus and fondness for driving 120 miles an hour on the freeway."

Sarah 2 blinked. "How in God's name did you ever fall for this dork?

"Nerd," Sarah automatically corrected. Sarah 2 blinked.

"Oh dear God in heaven... he made you into one of them, didn't he? How could you let this happen to me... to you... to us?"

"I did it twice if you wanna get technical about it," piped up Chuck. He wore a smug grin. "She lost her memories and I had to make her fall in love with me all over again. And guess what? Nerd got the girl," he stuck out his tongue at the clone. "So suck a million."

Sarah 2 squinted. "This is a damn nightmare. You must be really good in the sack."

"He is," Sarah replied dreamily. Chuck's grin hadn't faded in the slightest.

Sarah 2 paused before finally sighing, shaking her head like she was about to do something she'd regret. "Guess I'll ask for that test-run now then."

Chuck smiled at his two girls. He slung his arms around both their waists and led them toward the minivan. "Our chariot awaits, ladies."

_And so I guess, in the end, the true winner of that night was me. Not only did Sarah share another important piece of her past with me, but she got a clone out of the deal. And I got another Sarah out of the deal. So all in all… yeah, my life was going really well._


End file.
